Getting Over Grissom
by pbluvsjam
Summary: Sara decides it's too late
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own csi or any of the characters.

Getting over Grissom

Chapter one

_Why some days do I feel over him, over it? Other days I just can't get him out of my mind. The painful bittersweet emotions tug at my heart. This has to end. "_No it is already over. I am no longer in Love with Gil Grissom."

Heading back to the lab after a week's vacation, Sara feels refreshed, ready to face the world of crime. She smiles at her reflection in the mirror, trying to convince herself of what she is going to do. It started eight days ago when she left for vacation, today was the first test to her new policy. "I need to go in there and get the first encounter over with." She doesn't move. She stares ahead of her at the dashboard of the Denali. _You are letting the feelings for him get in your way, Sara. _With that thought she climbs out of the SUV and heads for the doors leading to the lab. Her home away from home.

She walks into the building, feeling almost like a homecoming, the familiar surrounding and smells. She passes by a few co-workers she has worked with occasionally, most of them lab techs from swing shift. They're getting ready to go home as the night shift crews are crawling in. She nods hello in greeting, not wanting to be drawn into conversation. She knows any gossip she needs to know she can count on Greg Sanders sharing with her. She smiles to herself and hikes up her bag on her shoulder as she thinks of the lab technician turned CSI. He'd also become a close friend, whose antics could always be counted on for a laugh. She pauses for a moment as she notices the door to her supervisor's office open. She closes her eyes and swallows hard. She walks forward knowing it is now or never. The crush ends now.

She walks up to the door and rests her shoulder against the doorjamb. She watches her boss for a few moments waiting for him to notice her there. He is buried in paperwork. Trying to make out the document in front of him, he squints his eyes with a frustrated glare, pushing his glasses farther up his nose he shakes his head, and reaches into the pile for another document. Sara can't help but smile at boyish confusion on his face. So adorable. She finally taps lightly on the jamb, watching the blue eyed Gil Grissom as he looked up from his hated paperwork, ready to unwind on anyone who dare distract him.

"Sara." He pulls his glasses off and gives her a welcoming smile. He drops his glasses on the stack of paperwork as he stands. "Welcome back. How was your week off?"

"Great Grissom, just great. I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the time off at such a short notice." Her voice almost apologetic.

"It was no problem Sara, Sofia covered for you." He watched her curiously as she rolled her eyes. "Is something wrong Sara?"

"Oh nothing." She smiles gritting her teeth. "There something I need to say to you."

"What is it Sara, you can tell me anything?" He looks worried and tries to search her eyes, for an answer.

"Yeah right." Sara growls under her breath. "I just wanted to let you know… "She swallows hard, trying to find the nerve, to blurt out her practiced words. "I'm officially over you."

"Okay." He looks away from her quickly. He looks down at his hands, as if they will somehow come up with the right answer.

"Look Grissom, I'm over it. This "crush" is done. I'm moving on. I'm not going to be mooning after you anymore like a sick little schoolgirl."

"Sara, I-I never thought about you- this like that." He stumbles over his words as if his brilliant mind can't come up with a complete sentence.

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know." She gives him a mock smile as she turns to walk out.

"Let me know if there is anything I can do." His voice is low almost a whisper. "I mean to help you."

"Nothing Grissom, just do nothing, except maybe stay out of my way." She walked out the door. Not seeing the look of pain he let slip out for a moment from his emotionless mask he hides in.

Sara puts on a half smile as she walks down the hall. She tries to cover the pain she just caused the man she loves. _Sara you no longer love him, remember that. _She shakes her head clearing all thoughts of Grissom.

She walks into the locker room, putting her bag on the bench, she opens her locker. She smiles as Greg hugs her from behind.

"Sara, I'm so glad you are back. This place is just plan dull without a beauty like you." He gives her a winning smile.

"I heard you had a certain blonde around to keep you occupied." Sara rolls her eyes at the thought of Sofia.

"I'm a brunette man myself." He smiles at her brown locks. "Just don't tell Catherine." Sara just can't help but laughing at that. "I've got some of my special brew going in the lunchroom, especially for my favourite co-worker."

"And where is Cath, tonight?" Sara smirks as they walk towards the break room.

"She and Warrick were called in early for a mess of a crime scene. Four dead." He poured himself and Sara a cup of brewed heaven.

"Lucky them. I wonder if they'll be a decomp for me tonight." Sara smiles grimly into her cup. She takes a sip. "Thanks Greg, I really missed this stuff."

"More than me?" He sticks out his lower lip in a mock pout. Sara gives him an accusing glare. "You hurt me."

"Man, if she really wanted to, we'd never find your body." Nick walks in with a smile. "Sar, I really missed you. I for one am glad your back."?

"Thanks Nicky, I missed you too." She gives her adopted brother a glowing Sara Sidle smile. She sits down beside Greg who is flipping through a glossy magazine on the table. He leans over to show her an a picture, he is finds. ?They all look up and greet Sofia, with a slight smile.

"Welcome back Sara. Looks like my days on nights are drawing to a close." She smiles trying to be friendly to the woman who is glaring cold daggers her way.

"I guess so. I'm sure you'll be missed." Sara let's a little spiteful jealously slip into her words.

"Hey Sara, check this out." Greg draws her attention away, pointing to a picture in the magazine. "You would look amazing in that dress."

"I don't do dresses." She looks closer at the photo. "If you can call that scrap of material a dress. It shows more skin then dress."

"Exactly my point, Sara wearing next to nothing. Yummy." He grins at her as he looks her up and down. She is about to swat him with a _Grow up Greg._ When she notices Grissom looking over her shoulder at the ad.

"Nice choice Greg, now do you want to work, or gawk at Sara all night?"

"I can do both, I am good at multitasking you know." His smile fades as it meets with Grissom glare. " I-I was just volunteering to work with Sara." He shrugs his shoulders nervously as he moves away from Sara.

"Here comes the decomp." Sara mumbles under her breath. Grissom's glare moves from Greg to her.

"What was that?" Grissom growls. "Sorry no decomp, worse, you get to work with me tonight."

"Lucky me." Sara smiles, taken off guard by Grissom's assignments.

"Sofia, you are back to days, take the night off and get some sleep." Sofia smiles gracefully and walks out.

"Wow we now who your favourite CSI is." Nick tries to lighten the tense air in the room.

"You think so Nick, here you go, bloated floater on the lake."

"Gee thanks, just what I've always wanted." Nick smiles as he takes the slip of paper out of Grissom's hand.

"And take your comic sidekick with you." Grissom waves them on their way. Greg running for his life.


	2. Chapter 2

Getting over Grissom

Chapter two

"So what do we have Grissom?" Sara reaches for the piece of paper in front of him.

"Paperwork." He turns well answering her, walking off towards his office.

"You're kidding me right?" She watches his back as he shrugs his shoulders. She just rolls her eyes and follows him.

"Okay, first things first." He says as he holds his office door open for her. "This is not a punishment." He points at his desk, closing the door behind them. "I'm buried in paperwork, and Catherine is out on case, I need help."

"Okay, where do I start?" Forcing herself to look away from him. She looks at the piles on his desk. "Do have some sort of system you are following."

"I did." He shrugs. "Until it got buried in paperwork." She glances up at to meet a boyish look of guilt.

"Okay we will start a new system, categories?" She raises an eyebrow, refusing to fall into his charms. "Crime scene files here, administration stuff here, and…" She question him. "What else will I find in here?"

"Bugs?" He gives her a smile.

"Dead?" She glares back, when her heart skips a beat.

"Invitation for speeches, seminars and things like that."

"Okay bugs go here." She drops a post-it on the spot. "Any other categories?"

"Personal." He juts out his chin in mock pride.

"Doesn't that fall under bugs." She smirks at him. He gives her a grin, that she only ever seen given to her. She rolls her eyes and writes a something on a post-it note. She adds a new category.

"Close personal bugs?" Grissom raises his eyebrows at the note. "Sounds good to me."

"Okay I'll sort, you go through the admin pile and get that stuff out of the way."

"Yes Ma'am" He gives her a salute, but watches her sit down at his desk and get right to work. He watches her, thinking to himself how beautiful she is. She looks up and glares at him. She tosses him a piece of paper. He takes it with a smile. Sitting down in one of his guest chairs, reading over some administrative timewaster.

"Don't tell me, Grissom is buried, and your are taking over as boss?" Warrick walks in the room smile at Sara, who is looking through a file, trying to make sense of someone's crime scene notes.

After hours of being confined to a desk Sara just glares. "My first honour will be to fire your ass, Brown. I'm having trouble with your notes here, I can't make out the cut was five or six inches long."

"Miss Chicken Scratch has a problem with the master?" He looks over his notes and says "look at the pic, it will answer all your questions."

"Yeah right Warrick, I'm just annoyed with being stuck on paperwork duty." She offers him an apologetic smile. "What's it like out in the field?"

"Boring, four DB, 20 rounds fired, no fun at all." He smirks trying to draw her out of her glum mood. "What are you in for?"

"She is not being punished. I needed a hand. Slow night, so I used her." Grissom walks in behind him. He smiles over at Sara. "Lunch."

"Food?" Sara gets up to take brown bag from Grissom. "Thanks." She heads off towards the break room, following Warrick.

"Hey… I thought we'd eat in here, work while we ate." He calls after her. Sara turns, glares and rolls her eyes.

"You are so not doing this!" She walks up to him glaring. "You think I'm not catching on to your game? Paperwork? Lunch?" She passes him the bag and grins. "I'm not falling for you again. That was ten years ago, Grissom. I'm not some gullible student anymore."

He gives a smirk. "I just thought you might be hungry. I know paperwork makes me hungry."

"Now you are quoting me?" She bites her lip trying not to smile.

"It makes sense." He holds up the bag. "If I recall correctly you had a ham sandwich? That wouldn't go over well with Miss Piggy there so, I changed it to jam."

"Funny Grissom, funny." She shake her head thinking back to their first meal together. It was the second day of his seminar at Berkley. She handed in a stack of papers for questions she'd come up with over night. She'd felt bad for taking over the class, the day before with her need for more knowledge. She'd given him the questions before class had started, he had just nodded and looked at her with a goofy grin. _I fell in love with him at that moment._ "Fine, lunch over paperwork." He smiled that stupid goofy grin.

"You know this doesn't change anything. I'm not your puppy dog you can kick around anymore." She pulls out a sandwich and starts to bury her nose in another file.

'I don't kick puppies." He looks at her confused. She just shakes her and motions him back to work.

Later Grissom is sitting alone in his office contemplating. _She's over me? That doesn't explain why she blushed when I touched her arm. Maybe she is right, it is time for "this" to be over. Maybe now that she is over it, I 'll be able to put away my need to have her near me. I've tried before or did I just push her away so she wouldn't notice hw much she really means to me?_

He looks up from his silent reverie to see Greg standing in front of him. "Hello Grissom are you in there somewhere?"

Annoyed Grissom answers. "I'm right here Greg, what can I do for you?"

"I need your John Hancock oh my time sheet." He answers holding out a piece of paper.

"Just drop it there." He mumbles, pointing to the now clear in basket.

"Close personal bugs? Well I new you were kinky but?" Greg raises an eyebrow.

"That was a category for sorting, nothing ended up there…" Grissom looks a little sad.

"Not hot little butterflies try to get into your collection."

"The butterflies as you so nicely put, would rather be free…" He goes back into his thoughts of Sara while Greg shakes his head and walks out.


	3. Chapter 3

Getting over Grissom

Chapter Three

_Her hair fell on his chest. Her lips burned against his collarbone. Her fingers dug into his shoulders. He groaned her name "Sara". Glowing brown eyes looked up into his, fire in them ,consuming him. Needing to feel the depth of the silky dark chocolate of her eyes, he reaches for her, taking her lips with his. He dives into her sweetness, becoming one with her._

"Hey Grissom! Do you have any assignments for us?"

"Ah Sara, ummm?" He grabs his coffee and takes a swig. It is cold but not cold enough to quench his need for her.

"Are you okay?" He finally meets her eyes. His blue eyes smoldering, Sara quickly looks away not to fall into the deep blue ocean.

"Chocolate, I'm craving chocolate, thick rich silky hot chocolate." He smiles in pleasure at his own thoughts.

"Okay." She looks at him as if he has lost his mind. She turns to walk out.

"Just imagine…" His voice stops her, and she listens. "What it would feel like to fall into a fondue pot of the richest dark chocolate, letting your body melt into the heat, your senses alive, the aroma haunting you, the silkiness beneath your hands! You can hear the chocolate bubbling, reaching for ultimate heat. Your eyes she the most beautiful shades of brown. And the taste… the sweetness on your lips, heaven" He speaks using a deep, husky voice barely breaking above a whisper. He looks into her eyes pulling her into his fantasy.

Sara wets her lips as she tries to calm her racing heartbeat. "Um… Grissom, I never guessed you for a chocolate lover."

"It was love at first sight."

"Don't you mean taste?"

"I haven't tasted, yet." He smiles at her. "But my craving is becoming unbearable."

"What exactly are you talking about?" Sara just looks at him.

"I have just figured this out myself." He smiles at her as he walks past. "Are you coming Sara?"

She stands there looking confused. Trying to use some formula, to figure out what he just said, and if it was about her. "Yeah" she turns and follows him out.

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen." Grissom's greeting receives questioning looks from all four investigators sitting in the room. When they don't find the answers on Grissom, they turn and look at Sara. She shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head.

"Cath, take our little blonde friend here, to the strip, keep your eyes on him. You've got a dead body on the side of the road."

"Cool! Shiny lights and a body."

"Watch him, Cath." He hands her a slip of paper.

"Can I talk to you before I head out. " Catherine tries to get the goods on his good mood.

"We'll catch up when you get back. Your body is being photographed as we speak, by tourists."

"Later." She heads out, Greg in tow.

"Nick, Warrick, You each have your own db. Warrick, yours is in Henderson, home invasion gone bad. Nicky, trick roll, gone very bad." The head out with a joke between the two of them.

"Sara." He turns to her, with a smirk.

"You say paperwork and I will create my own crime scene." She threatens. "I think arson, maybe. A sleeping man buried in his own paperwork."

"Better than paperwork, even better than arson." He gives her a flirty smile. "You've got bugs."

"What?" She looks stunned. "You've caught up on your paperwork, why don't you collect your own insects."

"Sara Sidle turning down an opportunity to learn something new?" He gives her a wide eyed look. "You've got lead, I'll just shadow."

"You're joking right?"

"Would I joke about bugs?"

"Let's go." She grabs the slip of paper out of his hands, eyes glowing with excitement.

"Wait!" He holds her back lightly touching her arm. "You're going to need some extra specimen jars and some food for them. The little friends will need a snack, and some of them are carnivorous."

"I'll get the jars, you get some tasty treats." She smiled at him.

"Yes boss." Grissom smiles with a mock salute. Sara just shakes her head.

Later at the scene the two investigators are leaning over a body crawling with creatures. Sara can't help but be distracted by his closeness. And his excitement is contagious. She watches him for a moment, waiting for instructions from her own personal entomology professor.

"Here, collect a couple of these ones live." He points out a small beetle, holding a specimen jar lid open for her to drop in the insects. He lifts the jar up to get a better look. "You've got some nice ones here. Now take one of the same species and preserve in the hot water, to preserve the age at find."

"You really love this stuff don't you?" She smiles, watching the smile on his face.

"Bugs are predictable." He holds up the beetle for her to look at. "Egg, larva, pupa, and adult, then they die. The follow a know path and they don't deviate."

"Humans are born, grow, mate, and die." She watches his face; something in his eyes intrigues her.

"Add to that, human emotions and free will, and everything changes."

"You mean, if they can live without emotions, everything else will make sense?" He meets her eyes for a moment, and then passes her another specimen jar. So how is it different? I live by and express my emotions, you have none. We are both in the same place, without a family, alone, living for work."

"I do have feelings, but I don't choose to live by them."

"And mine cloud everything I do?" She grits her teeth; trying to bite back some of the bitterness and anger she wants to show.

"Sara…" Grissom sighs. The topic switching into something he isn't ready to talk about. "Your bug is crawling away, with evidence." He offers an emotionless smile as he tries to pull them back on track at work.

Sara frowns shaking her head. She picks off the bug with a hair stuck to one of it's wings. She is about to say "Tweeze me." but he is already has tweezers and a bindle in hand. _Back to work Sidle, he is just trying to confuse you again._

In the Denali on the way back to the lab, Sara heart misses a beat, when Grissom ask "Do you have any plans for today?"

"Ah, no… why?" she swallows hard, trying to calm herself.

"Our friends here are going to take all day to process." He answers her, as if unaware of the tension surrounding them.

"Gil!" Cath calls down the hall.

"I've got bugs…" He answers her trying to walk back towards the layout room where he and Sara were set up.

"What is going on with you? Do you want breakfast? We haven't caught up in a long time."

"I don't have time." He says distractedly "I'm working on a timeline… with Sara."

"What is going on between the two of you?"

"It's called work. We all don't come here for fun." He tries to move away again.

"Like you're not having any fun with Sara,… and bugs."

"I guess I have nothing to complain about?" He gives her a flirty smile.

"Right." She smiles at him, seeing right through him. "Play nice and share the bugs."

He smiles and walks away. He stops outside the layout room for a moment, watching Sara. She is looking through the microscope at something. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail, one piece falling across her cheek. _I would love to brush the off her cheek, and kiss the skin beneath it._ _She is so beautiful. What if she finally says good bye? Now that she is over me, maybe she'll leave. She tried to leave before, I could stop her leaving me last time, but I doubt a plant will keep her here this time. I brought her for the lab, Be honest Gil, you brought her here for you. How do I keep her here?_

"Hey" Sara smiles at him and his heart melts. "I've got something I need you to look at. He moves to stand close to her, and look down the scope. He can feel the warmth of the closeness which makes him a little nervous.

"Sara, it's a Musca domestica," He gives her a smile not wanting to squash her excitement. "a common housefly."

"I know that." She rolls her eyes. "The colours, how can something so ordinary, be so beautiful?"

"Welcome to the world of entomology." He gives her a smile that stops her heart. You haven't seen my butterfly collection." He speaks as if it is a common thing to see.

"The walls of your condo? I caught a glimpse of it during the strip strangler case."

"Why don't you come over and have a closer look." He watches for her reaction. "I'll make dinner. We'll make a night of it?"

"You are inviting me?" She looks stunned. "You're inviting me over for dinner?" She watches his face for some sign of a cruel joke. He just looks like he is patiently waiting for an answer. "Why not? I'll bring dessert."

"I like chocolate." He smiles innocently.

"I've got that Grissom."


	4. Chapter 4

Getting Over Grissom

Chapter Four

After almost a full triple, Sara finally was able to go home. She put her head down on her pillow and thought about Grissom. _What is he doing? Is he just pulling me back in because I said I was over him? Is this way of saying he never had any feelings for me? We can be friends now that I don't love him anymore? Why do I care what he thinks? What the heck was that chocolate thing about? Was he talking about me? He hinted at it? What is he doing? Is he just playing with my head. Sara, hey, Sara! It doesn't matter you don't have feelings for him anymore!_

"Yeah right!" She buries her head in her pillow, frustrated and unable to sleep for the questions going through her mind. _Dinner at his place? Dinner with Grissom? Is he effected by my change of heart? Is he being hurtful or just being Grissom? Does he have any idea what he does to me? _Her eyes heavy see closes them to visions of Grissom. Him staring into her eyes, tasting her skin, his voice whispering her name. She sits up and throws her pillow across the room. _No more! _She flops back, falling into a deep sleep with a smile on her face.

Grissom walks into his townhouse and starts to clean, wanting everything to be perfect for Sara._ Sara is coming here, to my home. _He smiles nervously to himself. _What should I make for her? Something vegetarian of course. I wonder if Mom has any ideas? Should I call her? No, you'll just get her hopes up. She's your mother she has the best intentions for you. She has already planned your wedding, if I tell her Sara is coming to dinner, she'll start planning for Grandchildren. _ He shakes his head and smiles. _You've got to love mothers. I was going to make that lasagne this weekend, maybe I'll try making it without meat? Okay, get that started. Should I move my collection out to the living room, or should I let Sara see my bedroom. Sara in my bedroom? Sara Sidle in my bed? _ He smiles and shrugs his shoulders. _I need to change my sheets. _He starts to strip the bed fighting off mental images of Sara curled up there. "Do you want to sleep with me?" _ She was hurting, she was just making a point. I've answered that question, yes a million times in my dreams. Oh Sara, did you really mean it, or do I have a chance still?_

After hours of making sure everything is perfect, he sits down dust rag in hand. He falls asleep sitting there, nervous and excited about having Sara totally to himself.

Sara pulls into the one of the spaces provided for guests outside Grissom's building. She sits in place, checking her reflection in the rear-view mirror. She'd taken extra time and care with her make-up and hair, she made sure she hadn't chewed off her all lipstick nervously. _It is just dinner with my boss, at his home, it's not like it's a date, or anything. Or is it? Damn it Grissom, why are you so confusing? _ She laughs at herself and climbs out of the car. As she climbs the stairs to his door, she tries to calm the butterflies flapping like mad in her stomach.

Holding dessert in one hand, Sara takes a deep breath and knocks lightly on the door. She waits nervously as the door remains closed. _Maybe he forgot? Typical Grissom. _ She knocks again more loudly. She heart skips a beat when a light comes on, on the other side of the door, just before the door swings open.

"Sara?" Grissom asks with sleepy eyed surprise.

"I'm sorry did I wake you?" She asks trying to hide her disappointment. "I thought you invited me to dinner tonight?"

"I did - I mean we are-- of course." He tries to make a complete sentence while looking stunned to see her on his doorstep. "Come in, please." He steps back letting her pass. He looks her over and a look of pleasure crosses his face. "You look great!" The compliment falls easily from his lips as he gazes over her again. She's wearing and outfit not unlike what she would wear to work, but a little shinier. And a little shorter t-shirt showing more skin at her midriff. _So tempting to touch. _His hand lingers about a inch away as he guides her into his living room.

"You look slept in." She smiles taking in his bare toes, sweatpants and stained t-shirt. He blushes a deep crimson.

"I-I fell asleep, on the sofa, I mean this morning." He shakes his head trying to clear it. "I had everything ready, I was almost ready…" He gives her a clueless smile. "Give me ten minutes."

"No problem Grissom." Sara smiles, at the sleepy boy look his is still wearing. "Where can I put dessert?"

His eyebrow raises up, and he smirks. "Chocolate?" He wets his lips. "Kitchen through there, make yourself at home." He walks off in the other direction with a smile on his face.

Sara grimaces when she opens the fridge. Jars of specimens cover two of the three shelves. She thankful it doesn't smell as bad as the break room fridge does when he leaves some of his little experiments in there. She closes the fridge before she can find anything creepier then a jar full of maggots.

"Yuck" She shakes herself _He needs a separate fridge for that stuff, if I lived here… Sara stop that thought now, it is just dinner. _Making excuses for exploring his kitchen she brews a pot of coffee. She finds a pretty normal assortment of ingredients for a very complex man. She smiles as she hears the water shut off. _Grissom standing there dripping wet, wearing nothing._ She pours herself a cup of coffee and sits at the breakfast bar, flipping through a forensics magazine.

"Anything interesting in there?" He asks five minutes later.

"Not really, I read this one at home already." She turns around on the stool and her mouth drops open. He is standing there looking gorgeous. She looks at him from head to toe. From his shiny black dress shoes to his damp curls. He has dressed himself in dark grey dress pants, and a blue button up dress shirt. The tie is a few shades darker then the shirt, matching his eyes, which are watching her as she checks him out. "Wow!" It's the only word she lets squeak out.

He blushes seeing her approval. "Did I take to long?"

"You are worth the wait." She smiles.

"Can I get you anything?" He asks moving behind the breakfast bar towards the coffee pot. She shakes her head and shows him her own cup.

"I put the dessert in the fridge, will it be okay in there?" He looks at her confused. "It looks like someone's nightmare in there."

"It's clean." He opens the door to see what she talking about. "What's wrong with it?"

"You know most people would consider a maggot free fridge, as a good idea."

"They're meat eaters, your dessert is safe, besides they are in a sealed container." Sara just raises her eyebrows, in wonder. "I'll put the lasagne in the oven, it will be ready in about forty minutes. Then we will start the tour."

"Sounds good to me." He leads her to a framed case showing the lifecycle of a butterfly. "This is a great butterfly."

"Actually it is a moth." He corrects her.

"But it's so beautiful. I though moths were dull brown creatures. How can you tell the difference?" He smiles at her enthusiasm.

"Butterflies have slender, smooth bodies." He winks, "not unlike yourself. "Moths of plump, fuzzy bodies." Scratching the beard on his chin he smiles. "Their antennae are different as well, if you will look at this one here there is a knob on them, compared to the feather like antennae of the moth over there."

"So that makes these ones butterflies." She moves to the next one.

"Yes, and they are beautiful." He looks at her, watching her smile. "So are you."

"Which one is your favourite?" Her voice cracks a little, trying to step around his compliment. He just smiles. He puts his hand on her back, she shivers at the warmth against her bare skin. He guided her down the hall.

"Sara, I'd like you to meet my other sara, Heliconius Sara. Isn't she beautiful." His heart does a flip flop as they walk into his room. She walks forward to get a closer look.

"That blue is amazing." He stands close behind her, and points out the wings. He leans he's lips near her ear and speaks, using a calm voice, that defies his racing heart.


	5. Chapter 5

Getting over Grissom

Chapter Five

"She has a long wingspan, she floats through the air, and touches down on to feed, or mate. They are a very aggressive species, and can fight to their death. Her mate would have been very possessive, he would have sterilized her, effectively preventing her from mating with another. He doesn't like to share." Sara's body was alive with feelings. His voice wrapped around her like a cocoon, warm and safe. His words left her fighting emotions. His breath just touching her ear was hot, sending shivers along her back, aching to lean back and fall into him and beg to be touched. She turned her head to look back at him and he is looking at the specimen on the wall.

"Grim," She turns and says his name, keeping the inch of space between them. "I…" A beeping sound comes from the kitchen.

"Dinner." He says calmly. He walks away leaving a void around her, leaving her unbalanced. She takes a cleansing breath, and follows him into the other room.

"Would you like a glass of wine, Sara?" He asks holding up a bottle of red wine.

"Yes, thank you." She searches his face for some effect of the interaction just moments ago, but he seems unaffected. "Grissom? What's going on?"

"Dinner." He smiles at her. "Have a seat. It is vegetarian." He points to her plate.

She smiles and shakes her head. "You remembered."

"How could I forget, I almost lost you?" He says trying to sound casual.

"The lab needed me, so I stayed." she adds, using his former argument. "This is good."

"Thank you. You know the lab could survive without you?" He drops his fork at the stunned, hurt look on her face. "That isn't what I meant."

"What did you mean?" Sara eyes him, daring him to tell the truth.

"I was insensitive and you almost left because of me." He watches her reaction. "Why did you stay?"

"You know the answer to that." He nods.

"Now that that "this" is over, will you leave?" He asks the question he has been repeating to himself for days.

"Is there anything keeping me here?" He puts down his fork, folding his hands in front of him.

"How do you want me to answer that?" He stares at his folded hands.

"The truth, Grissom, the truth." She reaches over and touches his cheek gently bringing his eyes up to hers.

"You can't handle the truth?" He smirks and quotes the movie. "Truth is I can't handle the truth." They stare into each other's eyes as she strokes his cheek. "How about some dessert?"

"You just said you couldn't handle the truth but you are ready for chocolate?" She smiles deviously. A deep blush sneaks up his face. He smiles at her. "Maybe we could wait for dessert? I'll help you clean up."

"You don't have too." He says standing up to start clearing.

"I want to." She follows him into the kitchen with a couple dishes in hand. "If I open the dishwasher, am I going to find anything alive in there?"

He laughs, effectively breaking some of the tension. "No. Insects tend to like dirty places."

"Greg's brain must be crawling with them." She starts rinsing plates and loading them.

"I've been trying to work out those bugs for years." He rolls his eyes. Handing her a glass to load, "He is a good kid, just don't let him know I told you that."

"Wow, a Grissom compliment? It would go straight to his head."

"It would be eaten alive by the residents, who mess up his hair. What is it with the hair? Is it a style thing? Or is he just…"

"He is just Greg. He's trying to appear more grown up." She says in Greg's defense. "He really looks up to you."

"I'm proud of his hard work." He leans against the counter with his hip. "He has learned from the very best." He takes her hand and pulls her to him.

"Would that be Nicky?" He shakes his head. "Well Warrick is your favourite CSI?" He shakes his head and moves a little closer to her. "Cath?"

"No, not Catherine." He whispers against her cheek.

"Your blonde bimbo?" He moves his head back to look at her.

"Which blonde bimbo?" He looks confused.

"Sofia? Remember her, you took her out a few months ago." Sara glares at him.

"We discussed some career options." He looks a little confused. "You thought it was a date?" He smiles and shakes his head.

"Well that leaves the two of us?" She smiles at him and moves closer. "And since I learned from him too, so I know the answer. Let's have dessert." She moves away from him with a smile. He crosses his arms across his chest and smiles at her devilishly. "Bowls, spoons?"

"Let's take this on to the sofa." He picks up the too bowls and carries them out. She follows with fresh coffee. He sits down at one end of the sofa; she sits curled up at the other. "After this I will introduce you to my little pet."

"Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?"

"Why Sara, what kind of mind do you think I have? I was talking to about Bert."

"Bert?" She raises her eyebrows.

He takes her bowl and puts on the coffee table with his. "Close your eyes. I'll be right back."

"Grissom, you are creeping me out here." She laughs, but she loves the playful Grissom, so she plays along. She listens as he walks back in the room.

"Here hold out your hand." He takes her hand and cups it. She feels tiny movements on her arm, so soft but for a tiny tickle sensation. She laughs, and opens her eyes to see a huge, ugly hairy spider on her arm. "Sara meet Bert." She smiles into the boyish eyes.

"You think Bert is going to scare me off." She challenges.

"I think he likes you." He whispers as they watch Bert crawl from her arm on to the bare skin of her belly. She giggles as he touches a ticklish spot. Grissom watches her face, fascinated. "Don't make any sudden moves. He's harmless but has a mean bite." She raises her eyes to him and then back down to Bert. Bert starts to climb up under her shirt.

"Bert? Don't make me squash you." Sara giggles. She looks up to watch Grissom watching the spider move under her shirt. "Hey Grissom," His eyes look up at hers with desire. "Bert is headed to second base, and his hasn't even made me dinner yet."

"Lucky Bert." Grissom slides his hand Gently under her shirt. Her muscles tensing under the light caress. "Here Bert." Grissom smiles at his spider as he guides him out. "You need to find your own species. This one is mine." He slips Bert back into his terrarium. "Sara." He pulls her close into his arms, his hands on both sides of her face. He observes her face as if it were a piece of evidence or an insect. He gently brushes her cheeks with his thumbs. She opens her mouth to speak, but he brushes his thumb across her lower lip, shaking his head. "Sara, I don't have the words, for this. I'm scared, of this. But faced with the fear of loosing you, that is my biggest fear. Sara, please don't leave me."

"Gil, I'm here, I've always been here. I always will be. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how hard I try, I always find my way back to you." She looks at him eye to eye, conveying her words verbally, mentally and when their lips finally meet she convinces him physically.

The end.

Thank you all for your kind reviews, pbluvsjam


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